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| Saturday, February 03, 2007


HAHA. My tagboard has been really lively these few days. I feel loved at the same time too <3


xD


Anyway.


I have been thinking about death recently. No no don't get it wrong. I'm not an emo shit or suicidal person HAHA. It's just that maybe as you grow older, you tend to think about more things you had never cared about in the past.


You can call me overly sensitive, but recently whenever I read about those people who suddenly died without any warning or symptoms like those perfectly healthy people sleeping to their deaths or just got involved in accidents, leaving others totally shocked and unaware, it's not the people who died suffer.. it's the people who got left behind. I totally feel for them even though we are total strangers. I never did when I was younger.


Actually, death is not the scariest thing. Awaiting for it is. Growing old is something I'm definitely not looking forward to >_> So now, I'm just really, really appreciating the life I'm having right now as a teenager, as a young adult. Youth is short. Hahaha. So sometimes I kinda regret that I have no courage to do something extraordinary, whilst I'm still young. I don't want to be normal and ordinary, but gosh it's really hard not to be one.


Depressing as it seems, I keep thinking about how I would handle the days without my family by my side. Well, we all grow old and would go our separate ways, maybe I would get married and leave this beloved home and my brothers will sure have their own wives too, their own family. Mum and Dad will be left here with us coming back only on weekends... I will sure miss them to such an extent it's hard to describe. Mushy but true. Really. I feel... sad. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to enter the adult world, I don't want to be an adult. I'm really bad at adapting to changes. I love my family as in how it is now, I can't imagine how my life would be without them.


As I typed, I imagined it, this actually got me depressed... And damn. I just felt a tear rolling down my left cheek.


Shuf

Created at 1:10 AM

  
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SF, 19 *sigh*
thinks search engines are more of a nuisance than help
is a fangirl of FFVII, FFXIII Versus
can be really crazy beyond hope if she feels restless
thinks she has no musical talent, but plays the piano anyway.

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to slack around. I love rotting at home than going out the whole day shopping. and i'm serious.
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